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The PACE Paper

VANCOUVER'S REALEST NEWS

Totally, definitely, real.

 

A New Sport?! What is "Runchick"?

Charles W.

Runchick is taking over the world with how popular it is. According to Bob Bobjoe, he thought that running on chickens was the best idea ever. It has been so much fun training my chicken, Chickador Bob, to race with me,” said Bob Bobjoe.

 

Cary Zhang, a 24 year old in Harvard, was born in 1993. He was an excellent horse rider and he could even do tricks on his horse, Frank. Surprisingly, however, Cary’s favourite animal was a chicken and not a horse. It was both cute and fast at running. 

 

One day, a sudden idea struck him. Since he loved to ride horses, and his favourite animal was a chicken, then why couldn’t he ride on chickens?! He went home to tell his parents about his great idea. At first, Cary’s parents did not like the sound of this new game, which Cary had named Runchick. As they thought about their son’s love for chickens, and about how happy their son would be, they finally agreed.

A jockey riding a chicken in a Runchick race.

The next day, Cary and his parents went to the president of the United States and asked him if he will make Runchick an official sport.

 

In an interview, the president said, “I love chickens, I will surely approve of Runchick.”

Cary was so happy that he could hardly breath. He wanted to buy a really fluffy and cute and plump chicken so that it would not only be able to carry him but it would also would look good.

 

Right after he got Runchick approved, Cary went to buy his chicken. He spotted one just as he wanted, and realized that the Chicken’s name was Charles. Cary bought the chicken right away and went home.

He called his friends to tell them about Runchick. They all thought that it is a great idea, and said they will share the information. Soon, everyone in town knew about Runchick. 

 

Soon, the first race in San Francisco will begin. Even though Cary was 24 years old and he was also the creator, he was still really nervous. His parents drove Cary and Charles the chicken to the race. There were so many people who bought chickens and are racing as well. Others are just watching.

 

Cary took his chicken and went to the starting line. The ref waited for a few more people to get to the starting line.

 

Then, the ref shouted,“Ready, Set, Go.”

 

The chickens took off. Some went straight to the front of the line while some lingered behind. Charles was really fast. He had already gone to second place. Some chicken named Chickador was the first place chicken. 

 

From the perspective of the spectators, the little chickens looked like moving fluffy things. Just as Cary thought that he was going to get second place, Charles sprinted past Chickador and past the finish line. 

 

Cary was so happy he could hardly talk. He was still not sure he had won until the ref shouted out, “Third Place, Annie on Chicklet, Second Place Bob on Chickador, and First Place is… Cary on his trusted chicken, Charles!”

After the race, all of Cary’s friends congratulated him. “You are so cool, man,” said Tim. 

 

7 Awesome Fruits That Grant Superpowers!

Dora F.

Do you just want to live a boring life with boring stuff? With the help of these fruits, you can turn invisible, fly, know the answer to any question, look good, talk to animals and bring your loved ones back from the dead. These fruits were found and being sold by the company, Amazing Fruit.

“We decided that the world was too simple and boring, so we spent years experimenting with fruit genes and magic. We have finally made these 7 magic fruits that give the proper effect,” said Prince Ali, the CEO of Amazing Fruits.

 

Amazing Fruits opened on September 8, 2010. Their headquarters are in Ababua and their stores that are featured below are in Ababua too. 

Here are their top selling fruits:

1. Pear of Knowledge

Oh no! You forgot to study for the test and you don’t know a single answer!

 

Hold on and don’t worry. The Pear of Knowledge gives you the ability to answer to any questions. One pear gives you 3 chances and costs $12. 

 

The Pear of Knowledge can be recognized by their golden colour and how you can see your reflection in them. They make your mind foggy for a second then it clears up and you’re ready to ask your questions. They are a mix between a Comice pear and a Barlett pear, so it tastes awesome and is really healthy too!

You can buy it at www.iwantnowledgenow.com or at the store Knowledge Library.

2. Apple of Beauty

Having a hard time deciding on what to wear to look awesome? 

 

Well The Beauty Apple helps you become prettier than any girl or more handsome than any boy. These apples are known for how red they are. These special apples also are known for their gold hearts engraved on the apple. This special apple is a mix of a Fuji Apple and the apple Golden Delicious.

It’s $56 and you can buy it online at www.wheresmybeauty.com or at the store Kingdom of Beauty. Hurry there are only 2 in stock!

3. Orange of Invisibility

Do you want to just hide or sneak away? Do you want to be the master of Hide and Seek?

 

You’re in luck! The Invisibility Orange makes you able to turn invisible or back to normal whenever you want. One orange can make you invisible for 4 hours. If you eat 6 Invisibility Oranges You’ll be invisible for the whole day!

While oranges are usually orange, the Invisibility Oranges are mostly transparent. which makes them really rare and unique.

 

You can buy one for $200 online at www.buymyself.com or at the Orange Store.

It may not look like there's an orange here, but there is. You just can't see it.

4. Peach of Animal Communication

Did you ever want to know what your pet or an animal is saying?

 

With the help of the Animal Peach, you can talk to animals from aardvarks to zebras. You’ll be able to talk not only to land animals but also to sea animals and fish. One animal peach lets you communicate with one animal that you would like to talk to. 

 

An animal peach might look like a normal peach, but once you have the animal you want to talk to in mind, the peach automatically starts etching the animal onto the peach and turning its appearance to the animal’s patterns and colour, though they don’t take the shape of the animal.

You can buy one for $600 at www.animalsfruitu.com.

5. Strawberry of Flight

Have you ever had dreams of soaring high above your house and doing loop de loops in the sky? 

 

If you want to fly, then eat the Strawberry of Flight and roam across the sky! 

 

When you first touch an Air Strawberry, don’t be startled. These unique strawberries will jump and do a few flips in your hands before you eat them. Unlike normal strawberries, Strawberries of Flight are sky blue.

One strawberry costs $6000. They can only be bought at www.skywalker.com or Sky Shield.

6. Pineapple of Waterbending

Did you ever want to control water or the ocean’s currents?

 

Try one of the rare Pineapple of Waterbending and you’ll be able to control water! You can make things out of water and even heal wounds by just by touching water. Additionally, you can control currents of rivers, inlets, oceans and just about any body of water.

A Water Pineapple isn’t spiky but has little bumps representing the waves and ripples in water. They come in different colours from sea blue to sea green while feeling as smooth as sea glass.

 

You can buy this rare fruit for $6700 at www.icanseau.com or at the store Sea Rise.

 

NEW MAGICAL BANANA?!

Angel W.

Have you ever eat a magical banana? Thomas Whatever started by planting a banana with some shampoo in the dirt.Then ,the banana finally grow up and, Tomas ate it. He taste all the fruits in the world,and fell young and healthy! After that he began to grow more magical bananas.

  

There is a new magical banana coming from Whatever’s Farm! This is not a regular banana that you can buy at a grocery store. Have one bit of this banana and you will taste all the fruits in the world at the same time! This banana well also make you young and healthy for one day! This banana well sale in Vancouver and the first banana store well open in 2020.

One banana costs only $10! If you buy two, you get a $5 discount! 

 

Magical Bananas come in many different packages. You can buy a Magical Banana card ($1000). If you buy a banana card, you can order FREE bananas for a whole year!

 

You can also buy a box of bananas. They're delivered to your door with a remote control that can control the banana to grow chicken wings and fly over to you!

You can buy the banana at: www.magicalbanana.com! You can also buy it at any Magical Banana store. Just say the code word "Magical Banana, Banana Pie!" anywhere in Vancouver and a magical door will take you to the Magical Banana store! 

 

Special PACE Paper Promotion: All PACE students get one free Magical Banana on the first day of 2020!

Losers Soccer Team Breaks the Record for Fouls

Tim Y.

Losers’ player, Tomato, fouled the coolest and most fouls in one match.

The match was in a small town called Nowhere. The team was happy even though they lost because their teammate broke the record for fouls in one game! The other members on the team are Potato, Carrot, Broccoli, Pepper, Cucumber, and Lettuce.

 

The Losers are called The Losers because Potato thought it would motivate them to win. Unfortunately, Tomato proved them wrong by kicking fouls so many times, getting a yellow card each time. On top of that, the other team, called Winners, were very good. They scored 69,420 times while not letting in a single goal! 

 

After the tenth foul, a player from the Winners, Blue, went to the referee and asked him to give Tomato a red card. The referee replied “ I think you’re thinking of another game. How did you get in your team if you don’t even know that red cards aren’t in soccer?”

 

After some arguing about the rules of soccer, Blue finally gave up and went back to scoring ten goals per second.