All semester long, scholars have been refining their speaking skills and exploring creative writing. Everyone has been working hard to improve their rhetoric, voice modulation, dialogue, and more. Now that the semester is coming to an end, we'd like to showcase the following student's stories and speeches:
Keven Pi (Gr 7)
(click on the student's name to view their showcase)
David’s Big Brain Project
by Keven Pi
I enter the house at 3:00 PM; work ends early on Tuesdays. David should be home soon. Looking out the window, down the road, a small figure could be seen bouncing up and down. The figure walked past the blooming roses and eventually reached the front-yard. Now, I could clearly see his face with the usual big smile on his face. The door flew open and David came flying in.
“Daddddddyyyyyyyy!” he cried out. “I was assigned a history project today!”
“What’s it about? Maybe Daddy could help.”
“Something about ‘mii-miis’? We are supposed to do research on it.”
What the heck are mii-miis? I asked myself. Then, it struck me. I knew what he was trying to say.
“Memes?” I replied.
“Yes! Memes! Do you know anything about it? Was it a war? Was it an invention that changed the world?” he asked curiously.
YES! I knew this was going to be useful one day! Who knew a grade 5 history project would be about memes?
“Well yes, but actually no,” I replied cautiously in order to avoid any confusion. “Memes wasn’t a war, but it was an invention that revolutionized the world- kind of.”
“I am confusion,” he looked back at me with visible confusion.
“See? What you just said! That was a meme back then when Daddy was your age. Back then, it was not part of the English language, but now it is!”
The confusion was still visible on his face.
“Ok boomer, you must be terribly confused right now. So how about Daddy tells you the full story.”
He made himself comfortable on the couch across of me.
“Why did you sit down? Go grab your notebook! You have to take NOTES!” I yelled at him.
How did I raise such an uncultured swine? I thought to myself.
He came running back with his Apple Pen and iNotes, making himself comfortable on the couch again.
“So, this was the story of how I got introduced to memes,” I started. “Daddy was in grade 5, just like you are right now, and it 2017. Daddy still remembers it very clearly to this day. Gray clouds blocked out the sun completely and raindrops splattered onto our 4-wheeled car as we drove to the mall.”
“I’m sorry, but what’s a mall?” David interrupted.
“Oh, a mall is something like... Amazon. It’s a place where you buy clothes, electronics, and other things. But instead of shipping the goods to you, you have to go there to get it yourself.”
“That must have been really hard. I can’t imagine going somewhere just to buy the new Smash BroX! That would be impossible! It’s already hard enough to walk home from school instead of taking the cable gondolas! I’m pressing ‘F’ to pay my respects.”
“It was normal back in Daddy’s days, but let’s get back to the story. We arrived at the mall, and I remembered struggling to open that door. But when it finally opened, it was glorious. A wave of warmth immediately swept over my body, and the air was filled with the scent of freshly baked goods. Your grandma and I walked down the hall. We went past stores that were selling PS4s.”
“I’m sorry, but what’s a PS4?” David interrupted again.
“It’s an older version of your PS69. Anyways, we also walked past stores that were selling the trash Google Pixels. But finally, we reached the store that we were looking for- the Apple Store. Back then, the Apple logo was pure white, unlike the colourful ‘diverse’ logo it is today. Time would stop whenever I looked at that brightly lit logo. It was an indescribable feeling. We walked into the store and a friendly man with a bushy beard came up t-”
“How did you know it was a man? I told you that I identify as male, so you could call me your son. But how did you know that person was a man? What if they were an attack helicopter or something else?”
I don’t give a crap about this diversity stuff, can’t he just accept that it was a man with a bushy beard? I screamed internally.
“Oh, I’m very sorry David. I won’t make that mistake again,” I replied. “So this friendly unknown-gender person with a bushy beard came up to me and asked if I was looking for anything specific. I told him that I wanted the MacBook Pro, 16 inches. The unknown-gender person asked me if it was my first computer, and I told him excitedly- ‘YES!’”
“Is the MacBook Pro like an old version of the MacBook Supreme?” he asked.
“Well… yes, but actually no. It hasn’t changed at all except for the price and the Supreme sticker. Anyways, a few minutes later an unknown-gender person came up to us with the MacBook. I browsed the Apple website for months to carefully pick the right one. Your grandma reluctantly paid for it. That day, I received a holy object from the gods.”
“Hey! By saying ‘gods’, are you excluding the other 42.0% of atheists out there? And also, how about goddesses? And non-binary gods? I, personally, believe in the Attack Helicopter God. I’m very offended by your poor choice of words!” David lectured.
Oh my god or goddess, non-binary god, or attack helicopter god! Why is the government teaching my children this stuff?!
“I’m so sorry for my poor choice of words. You know Daddy is trying to pick his words very carefully, but it’s something he’s still working on. Here, how about we think of it as a very powerful object?”
“Continue Daddy,” David said as he nodded in agreement. “This is actually a very interesting story not considering the poor choice of words.”
Ok then... How do I explain the 35 plus years of meme culture? How do I explain what memes are? Hm… I paused and thought to myself.
“You see, after I got my first laptop, I also got access to the internet. Everything changed. So, I went to this website where all the magic happens- Reddit! I made my first account called ‘Just Legends’. It wasn’t a very good name, but it worked. Anyways, on Reddit, there were many subreddits full of memes. Memes were something that swept the internet by storm. It’s usually a funny GIF or image.”
“What do you mean ‘gift’? You mean like a present?”
“No no no, not a ‘gift’, ‘GIF’, spelled G-I-F. They’re like images, but animated. Anyways, memes helped me get through school and it also helped many people get through life. You see, depression was everywhere back then, but memes always cured them. There were always so many new memes being made every day. Sadly, for every new meme that was made, an old one had to die. PewDiePie was the master of memes. He/She/Unknown person, without legs, killed the memes by reviewing it on LWIAY. Almost all of the memes he/she/unknown person reviewed ended up dying. The others remained only for less than a week. Memes are really funny, but if I told you a meme right now, you wouldn’t understand why it’s funny. Instead of laughing, you would understand it as something part of the English language.”
“Oh! So like, ‘I am confusion’ was a meme back then? But since meme culture was so big, ‘I am confusion’ is now part of our language?” David asked.
What a fast learner, maybe he’s not an uncultured swine after all! I thought to myself.
“That’s exactly it! Now, go do your research on your own otherwise it would ruin the fun of the project!”
With this, David sprinted to his room to explore the wonderful history of memes.